Maternity jeans make it all worth it. seriously. I’m not even joking.

I feel like my last post was just moaning about pregnancy – but hey – this is my baby blog, and it has been pretty dire. I have not had ‘the glow’. I have had heartburn 24/7, exhaustion, headaches, mood swings and acne. The glow is a total LIE!

However, maternity jeans. OH MY GOSH. Where have you been all my life? These beauties would  have come in handy so much at Christmas dinners, Sunday lunches, hell, lets be honest, every meal I eat.
I can’t even describe how comfortable they are. They will certainly be staying in my wardrobe after pregnancy. I don’t even care.

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Busy is an understatement!

 Exhaustion, Iron deficiency, puppies, work, 3hourly feeding…. I think that about covers it. 

I have been so rubbish in updating , I’m just being lazy BUT I HAVE AN EXCUSE. Well. Kind of an excuse. I eventually decided that having insomnia at night and sleeping about 12 hours in the day wasn’t normal. That teamed with headaches and dizzyness, I decided I needed to see the midwife. 

On walking in, she told me I looked pale and unwell (the best way to start a conversation with a highly emotional pregnant women), and took a blood test. She said it sounds very much like I’m anaemic. 

Makes sense as even though I eat loads of veg, there’s not a lot of leafy greens, and mainly chicken rather than red meat (not by choice).
Blood tests are back though – no anaemia. I maintain – they’re wrong. 
I’ve been forcing myself to eat the most hideous of leafy greens. Spinach. I never want to see spinach ever again after this. Spinach can go to hell. 
That and more beef. I love beef. Almost makes up for the spinach.
Since doing this, I’ve noticed a mild improvement. Still exhausted, but just not as zombiefied. 

Scout, my dog, has had puppies! They are the cutest things, but theres twelve. Not a nice normal seven. Twelve. Twelve puppies. Twelve puppies that will be running around pooping and peeing in another week or two. 
Twelve means she can’t feed them all sufficiently so I have to help. 




I don’t mind so much really, but it is quite tiring feeding them as well! 
However, when I posted a pic of the pups, it got more likes than the pic of my baby announcement. Not impressed people.

WORK. Now this has been interesting. I almost wish I hadn’t lied on my c.v. to get the job. I’d perhaps have a bit more respect then. As it is, I have kitchen staff telling me they could do my job better than me ( a laughable statement), and other members of staff “training” me to do things I know like the back of my hand. 
I find it hard to take this on the chin given my previous position and responsibilities. I am a lot better than all of them a LOT of them, including the ones in higher roles. I just seriously hope we move before my maternity leave is over. 
Anyway. I’ve had an issue with work recently. I’ve never been spoken to like crap before at work, and I won’t put up with it. Unfortunately, the day the kitchen decided to go mental at me (for having the audacity to tell them I was busy and would run the food in a second instead of straight away!) I was having an emotional breakdown hormone fueled day.
Usually, I would give as much abuse back – I’m good at that. But no. I broke down in tears and had to go home early! The next day was worse because I just started uncontrollably shaking when I could hear the chefs getting angry.


I wrote a lovely email to the area manager explaining how a certain few chefs are completely disrespectful, they run the entire establishment rather than management, no-one dares cross them, and that one of them is an absolute bully. 

It’s being sorted out now and I’ve been told that if it carries on, “people will be replaced”. I do not care if I cause issues, and the chefs will know it’s me that has complained. Shouldn’t be such utter DOUCHEBAGS in the first place. 

Don’t cross an angry pregnant woman.

Thankfully – I’m back to my usual self at work now, giving them as much abuse and sarcastic remarks as they give us. I just wish I wasn’t literally the only one standing up to them! I think the difference is, I’ve worked in well run businesses. This place is not well run by any stretch of the imagination. 


Have another puppy pic. Work rant over.

My last point of the day.
Why is my bump not round?! Everyone elses I’ve seen is nicely round. Mine is pointy and looks stupid in pictures. 

I have a cone head baby. 




Today is the weekend before my birthday, and so, I have an early present of the best kind. I am giving myself a present from me! Beef rib roast dinner. Awwwww yisss.

I would have taken a picture of the DELICIOUS looking huge piece of rib that I was salivating over before it went in the oven, but I was just too excited about eating it and wanted the cooking part to be over. Hour and a half to go…*watchesclock*

I have gone a bit overboard with veggies too, but hey, it’s my present to myself and WHY NOT do all the vegetables they had in store?

Thankfully husband has invited people, otherwise I would feel a tad guilty. There will still be a lot of leftovers though so this beauty of a feast will feed me for a good few days!

Everything has become about food recently. This could be good or bad depending on whether I get my ass in line (and Marc gets my gym card fixed) and head down to the gym or not. I’ve always been a massive foodie – I defo should have been a chef – but now, I’m hungry ALL THE TIME. The things I want to eat, are all healthy with loadsa veg etc, but also butter and cream heavy. I’ve tried ‘light’ butter and ofc fake butter….but they do not taste the same. I don’t care what Utterly Butterly says!

I’ve been trying to snack on fruit when I’m hungry rather than my usual savoury favorites of pork pies, pickle sandwiches or any kind of pastry….but I’m so lazy it has to be ready prepared. Like grapes. The lazy mans fruit. Perfectly prepared in bite size nibbles. I’ve gone through a lot of grapes. I haven’t stopped eating the pork pies though..


shiny and new

I’ve felt pretty rubbish the last few months, but thankfully, I feel brand spanking new and shiny now. 

I think it’s a combination of Marc being home after his surprise return 3 weeks early, it being the GREATEST MONTH OF THEM ALL (Christmas AND my birthday), and I no longer feel like I need to know where the nearest toilet is at all times.

That and I have new makeup. 

I love having a job – money, tips and presents for myself. Winning.

Still can’t afford my beautiful MAC makeup, but a nice bit of Maxfactor has gone down a treat. 

Baby news

  • No major bumpage – I can fit into most of my clothes 
  • Still can’t feel movement
  • running up the stairs is EXHAUSTING.
  • Hideous adolescent teen skin is subsiding and I only have one or two tiny spots
  • Nerve in leg is quite painful, causing me to limp occasionally. Stupid relaxin..
  • Cat loves my belly.

On another note, Marc and myself took a trip to Mammas and Pappas… bad decision. The outfits for boys – GORGEOUS, the prices – not so much.

How is it legal to charge over a grand for a push chair?! Who pays these prices?! Ebay it is for me…………..


This has been my November addiction. Listen and love. Ciao




First Trimester done and dusted.

I have tried to update, I promise..

It’s just every time I get 5 minutes to myself I fall asleep. 

I have calmed down a LOT since I last posted, but it took a good month and a lot of complaint letters to various companies to get there. Sorry o2, Tesco and North Yorkshire county council.

Thankfully it looks like I’m finally over the first trimester. My nausea has almost all gone, but the exhaustion has replaced it. I’m still sleeping whenever I can.  when the dogs let me, but it never feels like enough.

So anyway, first trimester over means baby announcement! I wanted to do some funny picture showing Marc as the pregnant one but A. He’s not here and B. He refused to do it anyway. Just know. It would have blown you away with hilarity. 



I started a new job a few days ago  which doesn’t help with tired Jessica but I REALLY need money for Christmas. and to buy myself nice things. who am I kidding? I just want to buy myself nice things. I need to do this while I still can! Soon it will be nappys and nappy rash cream and baby grows and …..you get the picture. 



It wasnt me, it was the hormones!

I am infuriated.

I have just woken up. Everything that has mildly irritated me in the last few years weeks has now bubbled to the surface and enraged me.

Ohhhh I really hope someone pisses me off today. I feel like I need to tear someone a new a$$hole. The only downfall with this situation is that I can’t yet blame it on the hormones.

Still. I like being angry. I am GOOD at arguing when I’m angry.
I like unleashing my bad ass lawyer debatin skillz.

Douchebags beware. Today, I will destroy you.


What to accept when you’re expecting

I know that everyone says the first trimester is the worst, and I know I haven’t had it too bad BUT STILL. When people say “it’s not a disease” I feel like slapping them in the face.

I think my symptoms have been made a lot worse by the fact that my husband isn’t here and possibly won’t be here till December – missing the first scan which is on Monday – AND I have injured my back. 

My back is an old issue, but since quitting my last job as a care assistant I haven’t had any issues with it. Now I know what you’re thinking: “you weren’t lifting people properly” but, quite frankly – when you have a patient who’s file actually says you HAVE to drag lift her, then somethings going wrong with the system.  So Yeah, as long as I make sure I bend my knees, keep my back straight etc etc, I’m usually fine.  But ohhhhhnooooooo, not this week.

I’ve been going to circuits on a Tuesday and Thursday to keep up my fitness (to keep the inevitable fat that is to come at bay) and apart from seeing a loss in my cardio fitness, everything seemed to be going fine. (I am hoping this loss is due to fatigue! ) Last Thursday I worked quite hard on my legs and over the weekend they were killing me. I assume from this I must have bent over funny, as I couldn’t move properly due to my thighs feeling like they’d been ABUSED.  So now – I’m a cripple. I can’t bend my back at all and even stitting / lying down is extremely uncomfortable. I read online last night that most people get this sort of pain from there 30′s onwards. I’ve been having it since I was 13! This is ridiculous. 

So hoovering, mowing the lawn, taking the bin out right now is impossible. Cleaning out the cat litter is painful along with picking up anything the dogs knock to the floor. Even just going upstairs is agony!

Add nausea so bad I can’t eat or cook, I have more spots on my face than a teenager –  I NEVER get spots – and my mood swings have gone wild. I have days where I literally want to punch someone in the face. Marc’s lucky he’s not here. 

Apart from all this (!!!) I’ve been fine. No issues with baby (I think) and the weathers been quite nice so it put me in a better mood. 

I now just have to focus on Monday, hope for good news with the body snatcher and a call back from the chiropractor.